2008 Mojave Awards

Presented, for your reading pleasure, are the 2008 Mojave Awards. These are presented annually by the founder of the Las Vegas Gator Club.

Now that the season is over (except for the 8,000 bowl games, half of which involve teams with six losses), it's time to present my year end awards:

Sportsmanship Award – Randy Shannon, Miami, for whining about Florida kicking a field goal on fourth down inside the ten yard line in the fourth quarter eading 23-3, and making disparaging remarks about the character of Florida coach Urban Meyer. Shannon had his quarterback throwing bombs late in the fourth quarter up 45-7 against totally overmatched Charleston Southern the week before.

Honorable mention: Pete Carroll, USC, for whining about his team not getting a BCS championship game spot. USC got thumped at Oregon State by a team who got totally throttled at home by Oregon (who had lost at home to Boise State) with the Beavers’ first Rose Bowl trip since 1965 hanging in the balance.

Deer in the Headlights (Ron Zook Trophy) - Presented to the coach least ready for the spotlight and most overmatched in his job. Randy Shannon, Miami. Congrats on the double trophies this season, Randy. We'll see you again in 2010 in Miami - if you still have a job.

Honorable mention: Ron Zook, Illinois. It isn't easy to go from Rose Bowl to no bowl in one season, but the Zooker is remastering the art of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory after a season of apparently forgetting how. Good to see you back in form, Zooker. Keep telling us how much your team is improving.

Black Hole Award – The state of Washington. The state’s two major schools, Washington and Washington State, had two wins between them – both belonging to Wazzu, one for beating UDub 16-13 in two overtimes in an instant classic (their other victim was Portland State. NCAA rules required that one of them win. It would have been almost fitting to let the game end in a tie.

Disciplinarian of the Year (Bobby Bowden Trophy) – Who else? Bobby Bowden, Florida State. Reinstated two wide receivers for the Florida game who may yet face felony assault charges stemming from a brawl several players started at the FSU Student Union.

Honorable mention: Ron Zook, Illinois, for giving repeated chances as player after player got into trouble with the law.

Player of the Century (Josh Portis Trophy) – Mitch Mustain, quarterback, USC. After his parents bitched to the Arkansas athletic administration about the play-calling by former Razorbacks coach Houston Nutt and his staff not showcasing their son enough, Mustain took his ball and went home to USC, where he has done a stellar job carrying a clipboard for Pete Carroll. Mustain sits third on the depth chart for the Trojans. Maybe daddy can find you another place to play where they will appreciate your obviously superior skills, Mitch.

Coach of the Year (Mike Gottfried Trophy) – Charlie Weis, Notre Dame. oming off the worst season in the history of the school, Weis - a self proclaimed offensive genius who is obviously the smartest coach on the planet - had another tailor-made schedule set to propel his Fighting Irish to a top bowl game. Losing at home to Syracuse – who two weeks earlier were eliminated in the first round of the New York 3A high school playoffs – left the Irish barely bowl eligible. There is still hope for a second straight losing season, which Weis can clinch in the Hawaii Bowl against the Hawaii Warriors. The good news: There are still two military academies (Coast Guard and Merchant Marine) who have football teams and are not yet on Notre Dame's schedule.

Honorable mention: Phil Fulmer, Tennessee. Losing at home to Wyoming isn’t an easy thing to do. Nor is scoring only seven points against their awful defense. Both were feats that no Mountain West team was able to match. The University did right by him, though, declaring his last game Phil Fulmer Appreciation Day. “We appreciate what you did for us all those years, Phil. Now, don’t forget to clean out your office by the end of the day.”